so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize