so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
