walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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