The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
