Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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