I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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