he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
