Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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