Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Welp...herpes.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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