Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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