He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
