Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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