my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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