By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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