shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
