his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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