I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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