I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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