you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
this hospital has no fireball
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
