Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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