So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
