I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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