apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
