This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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