What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
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I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
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she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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