So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
