i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
