so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
