You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
