So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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