one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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