Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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