she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
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i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
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Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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