And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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