Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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