I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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