you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
