so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
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going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
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also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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