I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
