How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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