I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
