She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Randomize
