Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
