just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
True strength comes from lack of pants
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
