What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
