he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Are my feet made of real feet?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He has the fingertips of a God
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