I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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