the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I am naked and annoyed.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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