so that wasnt chicken after all
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
