I think I died a long time ago.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
