God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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