If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
