He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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