Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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