yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
