yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
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Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
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He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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