Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
